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Allie and I have been watching a friends cat.  We recently got word that we will be adopting him.  I’ve referenced said cat many a time in random blog posts and twitter updates and yadda yadda.  His name is Louie.  Or and I usually type it Lou-E.  You know, like Wall-E.  Cute right?…  Yea, anyway.

I hate cats.  Always have.  They are demonic little creatures that think they own you, not the other way around.  But…this cat is the most unique cat I’ve ever encountered.  He is very affectionate, and loves to be beaten.  That’s right.  Beaten.  Smacked on his back-side to be specific.  He locks up and goes into kitty bliss when you slap him repeatedly on the butt.  It’s funny as hell and never gets old.  Plus, it gives me a solid reason to beat the piss out of a cat, and not have PETA called on me.*  I give you this little back story, to really show you how this next part is so unusual, given my predisposition to hating cats.  Lou-E has softened me up a bit.

Lou-E does his kitty business in hit litter box, no problem.  It stinks to hell, but no problems with him peeing on peoples stuff.  I’ve heard a lot of people complaining about cats doing things like that.  He does however…forget to wipe from  time to time.  He’s got a case of the dingle berry’s.  So I think to myself:  ”That must suck…wonder if he’ll let me wipe his bottom”.  So, Allie and I are in bed, and here comes Lou-E with his poopy cat butt-hole.  I go to the bathroom, and get some TP, and dampen it with some water.  Warm water of course.  I’m no savage.  Allie scoops him up and points his butt at my face, and I give it a couple swirls with the ‘ole butt tissue.  Keeping my distance of course, not knowing what I might encounter.  He didn’t seem to mind, but I didn’t get the surface anomalies.  So he lays down, and I lift his tail and give it the same circular motion, hoping to loosen up his crusty hitchhikers.  He proceeds to do an almost “running man” motion with his hind legs.  His front legs stiffen up, and his back legs started to tread water.  His ears poked up and his gaze was strait ahead.  And after all that.  Couldn’t get him all cleard up.

I think I’m going to give it another go tomorrow.  But I’ve come to at least 1 conclusion.  Lou-E is a freak, and loves to be beaten and have his butt hold played with.

* I would never really harm an animal.  I don’t eat animals, and I respect their existence.  This slapping on the behind action is totally horse-play and I am in no way actually harming the cat.

So, I usually don’t post random occurrences on my site.  But if most of them wind up like this, then I just might.

I was going to Target today to pick up some stuff.  I saw a spot kinda far back, but it was kinda tight.  It would be hard to get into, but I decided to give it a whirl.  It was the only one anywhere close to the front door.  As I’m trying to 18-point turn my way into this spot, a guy pulls out behind me on the other side of the row I’m on.

I waited for him to pull out, evaluated the size of his old spot versus my newly acquired spot, and decided it would be much easier to just back strait up into his relinquished spot.  So I did.

Unbeknownst to me at the time, and lovely family man in a Astrovan was waiting for the spot I just scooped up.  After I zip across the row, backwards, into the spot, he slowly moves in front of me, and rolls his window down.  Here’s how it sounded from there:

Van man:  ”Didn’t you see me waiting for that spot”.

Me:  ”No”.  He continues to rant

Van man:  ”That was a really dumb thing to do man.  Really stupid.  And I’m a Christian telling you that man.  So stupid.”

Me:  ”Sorry sir, there are no Christian parking spots.  Have a nice day”

I was baffled, not only that he argued for the spot I had already parked in, but that he used his faith choice as a reason, or excuse for calling me out.  As if to say: “I am a morally sound and kind individual, and usually don’t do things like this because of my belief in Jebus, but I really fealt the need to call you out on taking that spot”.

I honestly hoped that he was outside when I left so I could apologize, but, no such luck.  I felt bad that I took the spot.  But, at the time when he dropped C-word, I had to apologies for the man.

Found this on one of the freethinker blogs I read.  It’s sort of a quiz about one’s level of Atheism.  Kinda silly, but still interesting to see my “rank”.  Items with a * before it are items I have done.

*1. Participated in the Blasphemy Challenge.

*2. Met at least one of the “Four Horsemen” (Richard Dawkins, Daniel Dennett, Christopher Hitchens, Sam Harris) in person.  (Hitchens.)

3. Created an atheist blog.

*4. Used the Flying Spaghetti Monster in a religious debate with someone.

*5. Gotten offended when someone called you an agnostic.

*6. Been unable to watch Growing Pains reruns because of Kirk Cameron.

7. Own more Bibles than most Christians you know. (Most Christians I know don’t even own one).

8. Have at least one Bible with your personal annotations regarding contradictions, disturbing parts, etc.

*9. Have come out as an atheist to your family.

*10. Attended a campus or off-campus atheist gathering.

11. Are a member of an organized atheist/Humanist/etc. organization.

*12. Had a Humanist wedding ceremony.  (Not myself, but my mother and step-father had a secular ceremony.)

13. Donated money to an atheist organization.

14. Have a bookshelf dedicated solely to Richard Dawkins. (No, but I do have one dedicated to books on atheism by atheist authors).

*15. Lost the friendship of someone you know because of your non-theism.  (not my decision)

*16. Tried to argue or have a discussion with someone who stopped you on the street to proselytize.

17. Had to hide your atheist beliefs on a first date because you didn’t want to scare him/her away.

18. Own a stockpile of atheist paraphernalia (bumper stickers, buttons, shirts, etc).

19. Attended a protest that involved religion.

20. Attended an atheist conference.

21. Subscribe to Pat Condell’s YouTube channel.

22. Started an atheist group in your area or school.

*23. Successfully “de-converted” someone to atheism.

24. Have already made plans to donate your body to science after you die.

*25. Told someone you’re an atheist only because you wanted to see the person’s reaction.

*26. Had to think twice before screaming “Oh God!” during sex. Or you said something else in its place.

27. Lost a job because of your atheism.

*28. Formed a bond with someone specifically because of your mutual atheism (meeting this person at a local gathering or conference doesn’t count).

29. Have crossed “In God We Trust” off of — or put a pro-church-state-separation stamp on — dollar bills.

*30. Refused to recite the Pledge of Allegiance.

*31. Said “Gesundheit!” (or nothing at all) after someone sneezed because you didn’t want to say “Bless you!”

*32. Have ever chosen not to clasp your hands together out of fear someone might think you’re praying.

*33. Have turned on Christian TV because you need something entertaining to watch.

34. Are a 2nd or 3rd (or more) generation atheist.

*35. Have “atheism” listed on your Facebook or dating profile — and not a euphemistic variant.

36. Attended an atheist’s funeral (i.e. a non-religious service).

37. Subscribe to an freethought magazine (e.g. Free Inquiry, Skeptic)

38. Have been interviewed by a reporter because of your atheism.

39. Written a letter-to-the-editor about an issue related to your non-belief in God.

40. Gave a friend or acquaintance a New Atheist book as a gift.

*41. Wear pro-atheist clothing in public.

42. Have invited Mormons/Jehovah’s Witnesses into your house specifically because you wanted to argue with them.

43. Have been physically threatened (or beaten up) because you didn’t believe in God. 

44. Receive Google Alerts on “atheism” (or variants).

*45. Received fewer Christmas presents than expected because people assumed you didn’t celebrate it.

46. Visited The Creation Museum or saw Ben Stein’s Expelled just so you could keep tabs on the “enemy.”

*47. Refuse to tell anyone what your “sign” is… because it doesn’t matter at all.

48. Are on a mailing list for a Christian organization just so you can see what they’re up to…

*49. Have kept your eyes open while you watched others around you pray.

*50. Avoid even Unitarian churches because they’re too close to religion for you.